That Lovin’ Feeling

Let’s take a minute to travel back to 2000, when I was a young, 22-year-old bride. I can’t even show you a picture because they didn’t have digital photos back then…but I was young and naive and I thought I knew a lot about love. And relationships. And marriage. But it turns out that I was wrong.


Fast forward four years and my husband and I were really struggling. We didn’t get each other. We didn’t get marriage. I felt so alone and unloved. At that point, a friend of mine recommended the book Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerich. It was amazing. The gist of the book is that while women crave love in their relationships, men crave respect. I actually remember where I was sitting when I had this a-ha moment and realized that while I thought my actions were loving to my husband, the reality was that some of the things I was doing (read: nagging him about his job) were actually disrespectful. A-ha!



Anyway, Dr. Eggerich recently released a hardcover gift version of his book called Love & Respect for a Lifetime.. His work is so powerful—and his new book is no exception. Not only is it superhelpful—it has all of the concepts of his first book–but it’s also supercute and fancy with pictures and verses and quotes. I love it. And—mushy comment alert—I’m going to tie it on top of my hubby’s Valentine’s present to remind him about how far we’ve come. Cute, right?



And, since love (and respect) are in the air, I thought I’d give you the chance to win your own copy of Love & Respect for a Lifetime. Just comment below and tell me what you’re doing for Valentine’s Day and I’ll draw one commenter on Valentine’s Day to win a copy!

P.S. Come back next week (on Valentine’s Day) when I announce the winner to read what Dr. Eggerich has to say about keeping your marriage strong when you have young children… trust me, it’s worth the read!


  1. Hi Erin,

    I hear you on the love and respect thing. God has really shown me recently how to come up another level in respecting my husband, but it's actually changing our marriage. And miracle of miracles, we're celebrating our 25th anniversary in a few months.

    For Valentine's Day (you won't believe this) we are simply attending our Monday night Dave Ramsey class. Lame, I know. But neither of us buy into a forced, crowded, night out. (We will probably go out to dinner on Saturday night, though. See, we're not totally un-romantic.)

  2. We have a tradition that if it's a weeknight, we meet up at the Chinese Buffet for dinner after work. It's usually not too annoyingly busy and we don't have to wait to order or receive the food. It's almost the only time of year we go–and I love it!

  3. My husband is going for a guys ski week next week. All of the guys in his group wanted to leave on Valentines day (to them it was just Monday). My husband told them he wanted to spend Valentines day with his wife (wise) and they all laughed! Anyway, the group now leaves later in the week thanks to my kind husband. I can't wait to see what he has planned. =)

  4. My husband and I are doing a night in – dinner and a movie style 😉 Too broke to do otherwise! Plus we love cooking together. The movie will probably be a romantic comedy because he hates action movies. lol.

  5. Hmmmm. Probably cooking dinner, bathing kids and putting them in the bed. Our anniversary is the following week so we don't really celebrate V Day.

  6. My hubby is working that night. So after the kids are in bed I'll probably be watching tv, eating too many sweets, and trying to wait up until he gets home to say hi before crashing into my pillow. SO romantic. :) I might at least leave a Valentine card out for him, though.

    Haven't heard of that book, but I'm going to have to check it out now. Thanks for the suggestion!

  7. The book sounds right up my alley. I love books that focus on a strong Christian marriage. And as far as Valentine's Day, I have no idea! Maybe a lasagna, some chocolates and a little together time!

  8. Erin,
    You don't look that old!
    I'm having lunch with a good friend that day and that evening will be like any Monday. House!

  9. My husband and I celebrated already in Asheville, NC! It was a wonderful, romantic getaway! We'll probably do dinner or something on Valentine's Day evening.

  10. We'll probably stay home and cook to save money, but our daughter is going to a friend's house, so we'll enjoy the evening sans kiddo no matter what!

    We just went to a marriage conference where they showed the love and respect videos…so good!

  11. This is so touching, Erin. I can relate, too, because my husband and I are 11 years in, but we're only now figuring out how to communicate and understand one another.

    Powerful post!

  12. We don't have any plans. Does that still put me in the running? 😉

  13. We have a family pizza night planned for v-day :). It's year two for this tradition.

  14. No plans yet. It is so funny that you posted on this because I was just thinking about what to write about for Valentine's Day and thought of Love and Respect. We never read the book, but the concept transformed our marriage. My husband heard the author talk on Christian radio early on in our marriage and it has made all the difference in how we relate to each other.

  15. We plan on waking up the children with a few Valentine goodies purchased at my all-time favorite story: Ross!! Heart placemats, heart mugs, plastic heart plates, heart shaped muffins from the heart shaped muffin tin, T-shirts that say, "Mom loves me" (for the girls) and "The Ladies Dig Me" (for the boys) and a love note written by Mommy and Daddy.

    I'm sure you were asking about my plans for my husband…but he and I agreed in college to always forgo the whole commercialized Valentine's Day. We were poor.)

  16. oops *store not story

  17. Sounds like a great book -awesome giveaway! We usually go on a date night around Valentine's Day -it's nice to reconnect -Hoping we dig out of this snow soon -so we can have a date night :)

  18. That sounds like a very helpful and wonderful book! I'm so glad it helped your marriage. :) Have a great Valentine's Day!

  19. Shoot, we never really do anything for V-day. So my only plans right now are winning this book. 😉 If you'd like to give away any copies of my book sometime (the Blushing Bride one), you can have some! I talk a lot (a lot) about the whole love/respect thing–soooooo important.

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