Today, I’m going to have to take a break from blogging about serious topics (you know, like chocolate) to talk about something even more important: a little black dress.
Guys, go ahead and click that little red X now.
Girls, my book release party is next week. And, my sweet and sensitive husband told me last week that he thought a new outfit was in order. Which made me very, very excited until I realized that I’m 6 months pregnant and any dress I buy will be a maternity dress. And the fact that I will not only be huge and pregnant at the party, but that any dress I buy will be relocated to the Goodwill bin in a couple months pretty much sucked the fun out of my shopping trip. But, since I have to wear something, I went to the mall and tried on every single dress I saw and finally found one that I liked. Sort of.
Here’s the problem: I’m having self-confidence issues. And, with that in mind, I’m going to do the one thing that any girl in my situation would do: Tell everyone and anyone that I think it makes my boobs look too big and my butt look wide so that when they see me at the party, they’ll notice the flaws that they never would’ve even considered had I not mentioned them. Good plan, right?
So, anyway, now that I’ve divulged that little tidbit, I need your advice. The dress in the picture above is the real dress but the model in the picture above is NOT me. So, imagine that dress on someone who is about 3 sizes bigger in the chest. And perhaps slightly larger in the hips and waist. Got that image in your mind?
Okay, now, here’s where you come in. Should I:
1) Wear the dress as is and realize that no one else is going to say or think anything about it?
2) Buy a belt– maybe something flashy like silver or red– to highlight my rib cage which happens to be the only part of me that doesn’t have a two-inch thick layer of fat?
3) Buy a scarf– again, something flashy but not trashy– to cover up the bust?
4) Return the dress and go look for a new one?