I promised you something witty last week and I’m not going to deliver. I got nothing. Unless you count the worn-out Star Wars jokes that my son keeps telling me as witty. I don’t. So, instead, I’m going to leave you with a list that should demonstrate pretty clearly where I’m at in life right now.
8 Things I’ve Done Today That Prove My State of Mind
1. We went to Target this morning to buy laundry detergent and toilet paper. I walked out with pink cowboy boots for my daughter, malted milk eggs and flowery headbands.
2. I ate 15 of the aforementioned eggs in the car on the way home and then gave each of my kids a handful each just to get them to stop pestering each other. Obviously, I’m not above bribery.
3. On the way home, my daughter decided she wanted a kitten. Then my son decided he wanted a hamster. I said no. They whined. So, what did I do? Took them to the pet store, of course. I figured it would buy me some time to eat my chocolate eggs in peace while they looked at the animals.
4. I considered buying them each their pet of choice. Until I looked at the hamster cages and realized that I would be the one cleaning it. Moment of weakness averted.
5. On the way home, I got thirsty. So, I stopped at Starbucks. And got myself a Frappucino. As if I hadn’t already had enough sugar.
6. Once home, I decided that making PB & J was too much trouble so I took a bag of shredded cheese, a carton of turkey and a bag of baby carrots out of the fridge and told my kids it was “make-your-own-lunch” day. They looked at me like I was crazy. But they ate.
7. I then decided to extend “make-your-own-lunch” day to “tuck-yourself-in-for-naps-alone-day”. They were on their own. I kissed them on the way up the stairs and you know what, they’re fine. I’m pretty sure they both fell asleep, too. Not that I’ve gotten up the energy to drag myself up off the stairs to check.
8. I googled “babies born at 32 weeks” just to see what would really happen if I had this baby now. Turns out it’s not a great idea. I stopped praying that I would go into premature labor and instead started praying that God would give me the peace and grace to survive eight more weeks.
Question for you: How did you survive your last trimester? And please say I’m not the only one who is living in a bitter, sugar-fueled blur of pregnancy hormones.
AND, last but not least, the winners of the CHASING SUPERWOMAN giveaway from last week are Jenny Sulpizio and Emily Kacmarynski. Email me your addresses at email@example.com and we’ll get your books sent! Congrats!