Why Networking is Marketing (And It’s a Lot of Fun, Too)

Date posted: July 29, 2011

My #1 piece of marketing advice? Network. And, by network, I don’t mean friend 10,000 people on Facebook and spend all day on Twitter and LinkedIn, but really work hard to get to know people in a real way.

Now that I read back what I just wrote, I realize that it sounds kind of shallow to talk about getting to know people in a real way as a tool to market your book. But that’s not what I mean. I mean that by working as a partner with other authors, speakers and bloggers, you can build relationships that are mutually beneficial and market your book in the process.

For me, I had to start small. When I got my book contract, I wasn’t some big-shot reality TV star, multi-contracted author or well-known blogger who had automatic name recognition. I’m just a stay-at-home mom from Texas. And as of a year ago, I had no blog, no Facebook page, no Twitter account and no following whatsoever. So I had to start from ground zero—which is a daunting place to start when you have a book hitting the shelves within a few months.

But as I started to feel my way around the interwebs—reading other author’s blogs and making friends on Twitter—I was surprised to find this amazing network of authors, writers, speakers and bloggers who work together to support eachother’s work, encourage each other, offer advice and even market for each other. And as I got to know the people in this network—through reading their blogs and following up via email and Twitter—I realized that this relational network was a lot bigger and more powerful than the number of radio interviews I could book or press releases I could send out. These people were passionate about writing. And reading. And about helping other authors out. And since I shared similar passions, I knew that these relationships were key to my book’s success.

So, how do you network in a way that builds mutually beneficial relationships? Here are a few of my tips:

1. Set aside 30 minutes every day (I know your busy, and I KNOW it sounds like a lot of time, but it’s important) to read other people’s blogs and write comments on the posts. I look at this as my way of getting to know the passions, likes, dislikes and personalities of my online friends.

2. Buy books—and lots of them. Some people have a Starbucks habit, but I have a Kindle habit. I spend way too much on books—especially books written by my online friends. I buy them because I love reading—but also because I want to support the people who support me—by recommending their work to my friends and writing Amazon or Good Reads reviews.

3. Don’t make it all about you. It’s tempting to say things like “If you review my book, I’ll review yours” but that’s not always the mutually beneficial thing to do. Do nice things for other people regardless of what they can or will do for you. It’s not all quid pro quo in marketing.

4. Meet your online friends in real life. I went to lunch with Nancy Williams a few weeks ago and we schemed all sorts of fun ways to market both of our books. I’m heading to the MOPS conference with Joanne Kraft and Kathi Lipp in a few weeks. All of these opportunities to get to know other authors, speakers and bloggers in a real way are opportunities to develop mutually beneficial relationships.

5. Don’t only pitch your book when you’re speaking or at an event. Whenever you go somewhere where you have the opportunity to sell your book, bring along a few books by a few of your friends and sell them as well.

6. Reach out. Be a friend. Help people out. And, when the time comes, they’ll be more than willing to help you out, too. It’s kindergarten logic in action—but it works.

Question for you: Have you found that the online network of speakers, authors and bloggers has helped you in marketing your book? How?

Healthy Jello Salad–Really!

Date posted: July 28, 2011

I should've taken a pic of my REAL Jello salad but my kids downed it so fast that this clip art will have to do.

My kids love Jello. I hate it. Okay, who am I kidding? I love the stuff… it’s all jiggly and wiggly and delicious. But I hate the fact that its completely PACKED full of sugar and artificial color and artificial sweeteners and all sorts of stuff with absolutely zero nutritive value. So I never make it for my kids…

But, since my kids were begging, I decided to create healthy Jello salad… and after a few trials and errors, we had success! So, here it is… my completely artificial-coloring-free, sugar-free, artificial-sweetener-free, all-natural Jello salad recipe

Watermelon Gelatin Salad

* 1 personal-sized seedless watermelon, cut into chunks
* 1 1/2 cups juice (100% juice white grape, apple, cranberry or grape)
* 2 packages Knox gelatin
* 1 1/2 cups fresh fruit, cut into chunks (I used peaches, plums, strawberries and blueberries)

1. Fill your blender with watermelon chunks (about 4 cups, loosely packed). Blend 1 minute until you have a thick liquid. Strain juice into a small saucepan (you’ll have about 2 cups of juice). (Throw away the pulp)

2. Sprinkle gelatin on watermelon juice. Let sit for 5 minutes.

3. Heat watermelon mixture over medium heat for about 5 minutes until gelatin is dissolved.

4. Stir in juice.

5. Pour half of the mixture into a small 9X9 glass pan and put in the fridge for 90 mins. Leave remaining mixture on the counter at room temp.

6. Take out of fridge, sprinkle with fresh fruit, then cover with the remaining watermelon mixture.

7. Put back in fridge and allow to set for 2-3 more hours (or overnight)

That’s it… your kids will LOVE it.

Married with Children

Date posted: July 26, 2011

Last night while I was feeding Will, I picked up my Kindle and started reading a mushy-love-story of a novel–one of those where the hero and heroine love each other so much that they literally cannot survive being apart from each other–and instead of making me feel all romantic, it made me sad.

Sad because my husband and I haven’t spent more than 10 minutes alone together since the baby was born.

Sad because that must-spend-time together romance disappeared about 12 seconds after our firstborn was born.

Sad because there was a time when we were that hero and heroine back in the day when we were 21 and had no responsibilities aside from going to work and hanging out with each other.

So much has changed.

And I’m not sure how to get the old “us” back– but I know we have to somehow, someway. Because the truth is that I can’t stand the thought of my kids growing up in a home where their example of marriage is what they’re seeing right now: Two people who do love each other but never quite have time to make that love grow. Two people who are so focused on just surviving that they never focus on each other. Two people who once had that mushy-love-story type of love, but lost it along the way.

Does anyone have any tips?!

No Crying Over Spilled Milk

Date posted: July 19, 2011

My plan for the morning: Load my oh-so-sweet kids in the car for an early grocery shopping trip before the store got too busy. I’d stock my pantry with healthy meal options, pick up diapers for the baby, grab a birthday card for my friend. Then, I’d head home and put the groceries away just in time for my kid’s to watch Dora and me to get a little down-time to savor a cup of coffee, read my bible, pray and write a little before I met my friend at the park. Easy, relaxing, productive.

What really happened: The baby started crying before we even got to the store and by the time we made it to the produce department, I grabbed two apples and a bag of grapes and called it good. I forgot to get diapers. I forgot the birthday card. Right as we got on the freeway on the way home, my five-year-old decided to give the milk “a hug” (because, you know, milk needs hugs). He dropped it. And, the entire gallon of milk went glugging out onto the floor of the backseat. And, did I mention that I live in Texas and it’s 105 degrees out today? The baby was still screaming when we got home. I set the baby in his swing and pulled out the shop vac to try to vacuum up some of the milk in the backseat… but my three-year-old had to go to the bathroom right that minute. She peed her pants. And while I was cleaning up the pee, my five-year-old decided to help me with the vacuuming, but instead of vacuuming up the milk, he vacuumed up the baby’s socks. I never got that cup of coffee or down time or time to write. And, the morning was anything but easy, relaxing or productive.

I’m sure one day I’ll laugh.

But until then, I’ll rest in the fact that God has given me these tiny children for just a short time—and that means that there will be days that none of my plans go as I hope. Days that I miss out on my morning cup of coffee or some much-needed down time. Days where my kids learn restraint and I learn patience. Days that we’re together. Days that I wouldn’t trade for anything in the world.

God’s Plan

Date posted: July 12, 2011

All things work together for good according to God’s plan. All things.

It’s easy for me to see God’s plan when life is looking up. When my job is going well, when my marriage is strong, when my kids are healthy. And, in those times, it’s easy for me to show my kids who all things work together for good for those who love God.

But what about when you’re facing trials? How do I show my kids—and myself—that God’s plan is always good, always right and always perfect when life seems anything but?

This weekend, my sister and her husband lost a precious, much awaited baby girl. Her birth mom had made the heart-wrenching choice to give her up for adoption—and my sister’s family was chosen as the adoptive family. We couldn’t have been more thrilled—and spent months anxiously awaiting her arrival.

The sweet baby girl was born last Thursday night, healthy, vibrant and beautiful. Our family rejoiced, thrilled for our new addition. But our joy was short lived—less than 24 hours after the baby was born, the birth mom decided to tear up the adoption papers. She changed her mind. And my sweet new niece was no longer ours.

I’m struggling with my own emotions in this. How could this be in God’s plan—when we all felt so certain that Ali was meant to be in our family? How can God’s plan involve this much heartbreak? This much sorrow?

My kids are also devastated. They were so excited about their new cousin and can’t quite comprehend how one day she was ours and the next day she wasn’t. They loved her, too, and like me, are having a hard time understanding.

Today, we sat down together and drew a picture of a path. We drew ourselves walking down the path. We added rocks and hills to the road in places, flowers and streams in others. We talked about how sometimes the road is easy—downhill and sunny and beautiful. But other times, there are rain storms and hills, rocks and tears. Then, at the end of the road, we drew Jesus.

Because the truth is, the path God calls us to walk down isn’t always easy. He never promised that our path would be free of obstacles. He never said we wouldn’t shed tears. But, he did promise that the path he called us to follow would lead to something good.

And that means that even now—when we’re crying because we miss our niece—God is working all things together for good.

A Mom’s Sacrifice

Date posted: July 7, 2011

You should see me right now. My arms, legs chest and face are streaked with this horrible brown-orange stain—a blotchy, streaky reminder of the sacrifices I make as a mom. It’s pretty embarrassing. I’m not sure I want to leave the house.

Okay, so I’m definitely dramatizing this: it’s just a airbrush tanning job gone bad. But still.

It all started out so wonderfully. My friend called me and asked if I’d do her a favor. She was writing an article on “Hot Austin Spas” for a magazine and asked if I’d be willing to be a “beauty tester” and test this fancy schmancy new airbrush tanning spa downtown. Even better, since it was for the magazine, my spa treatment would be on the house. I’ve never had an airbrush tan (or, if I’m being honest, been to a fancy schmancy spa), so I couldn’t say “sign me up” fast enough.

The spa treatment was amazing! After an exfoliating wipe down, I stood in a shower-like stall and a tech carefully airbrushed me for a “healthy summer glow”. I stepped out and I was literally glowing. And, considering the fact that my natural skin tone is the color of paste and my only experience with a “healthy summer glow” involved gallons of 100 SPF and streaky self tanner, I felt pretty amazing.

As I left the spa, I sized my new tan self in the mirror as the owner shouted her warning: Whatever you do, do NOT get wet for 8 hours or you’ll streak. Easy enough, right? Wrong.

Two hours later, I was sitting on the patio with my husband while my kids played in a kiddie pool on the lawn. And, my superhero-son took a flying leap from the top of the slide and instead of landing feet-first with spiderman-like reflexes, he landed on his back and started screaming. And that’s when my mom-like reflexes kicked in.

I leaped out of my chair, ran to my screaming son and sat down with him in the kiddie pool. Hello motherhood. Goodbye perfectly applied airbrush tan.

So, for the next seven to ten days (depending on how well I “take care of it”), my arms and legs are a walking reminder of the fact that I’m a mom. And, really, what do I expect? When was the last time I left the house with my hair dried and flat ironed? Or without spit-up on my shirt? Or with perfectly tanned skin?

But the truth is, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t want to be the mom with perfect hair and skin and nails. And, the truth is, if I have to walk around with streaky orange legs for a few days, I’m okay with that. Because I want to be the kind of mom who’s willing to dive into a kiddie pool to give my kids a hug.

Question for you: What little sacrifices do you make as a parent every day?

Making the Most of the Fireworks Ban

Date posted: July 5, 2011

No rain+ months of 100 degree weather= no fireworks.

We had to improvise. In lieu of our annual fireworks extravaganza, we had more of a sparkler and glo-stick extravaganza. But, that didn’t mean we didn’t have fun at our annual Fourth of July bash. We had a big blow-up waterslide (thanks to our friends Jonathan and Rachel), tons of grilled chicken and shrimp, delicious desserts (Michelle’s trifle and Anna’s ice cream cake were to.die-for) and best of all, good friends. What’s better on a hot summer night?

AND, since I’m not pregnant anymore, I’m suddenly supermotivated to be supermartha-stewart-esque (yes, that’s a real word…). So, we even decorated the house. We planted red and white flowers in pots and tied them with red, white and blue ribbons. Then we made pinwheels out of patriotic paper and stuck them into the pots. It was supercute (and my kids helped with the decorating which made it a fun family project).

What did y’all do for the fourth?