Sooo, I’ve been working really hard at having intentional conversations with my kids. I’ve (mostly) made breakfast a time for conversation and not rushing. I’ve used my car time for talk time. But here’s a confession: When my husband gets home from work, we eat dinner while talking to the kids, put the kids down and then plop down in front of our laptops to work or in front of the TV to watch Parenthood. Not only do we not have intentional conversations, but often, we don’t have conversations at all.
We’re in a slump. We have a bad habit. And honestly, it’s really hard to break when we’re exhausted and worn out and it feels exhausting to have yet another intentional conversation. Anyway, since I’m in no way an expert (or even competent) at this, I took to my good friend Google to get some tips. Here’s what I found out:
1. Set aside 5-10 minutes to talk right when your husband gets home from work. Sure, all you want to do is hand him the baby and grab yourself a hot cup of peppermint tea– but before you unwind, give yourselves a few minutes to connect and tell each other about your days.
2. Schedule 1 TV and laptop-free night per week. I know it sounds hard, but that’s what Tivo is for. Instead, grab yourself a glass of wine, light a fire, snuggle on the couch and just talk.
3. Overshare. I have a tendency to undershare because I assume my husband has enough on his mind to add my thoughts and feelings on top of it. But if I don’t tell him what I’m thinking– however unimportant it seems– I’m not giving him a chance to connect with me.
4. Give yourself a break. As parents of young kids, our lives are crazy. We don’t have time– or money, energy, stamina, brainbower, wherewithal– to have crazy romantic date nights or intense, hours-long conversations. And that’s okay. Just talking about your day or what you want to do next summer is better than nothing at all.
Question for you: How do you make sure you connect with your husband on an intentional level?